Global family drama where Daddy Trump is running the show,

The unhinged global family drama where Daddy Trump is running the show, and the entitled teenagers The EU are getting a reality check. Here’s the continuation with all the twists, tantrums, and tea you’ve served:

The Entitled Teenage EU: Pay Up or Get Out.

The European Union, the spoiled teenager of Daddy Trump’s household, thought they could keep freeloading on NATO and the U.S. defense budget while sipping espresso and lecturing everyone about climate change. But oh no, Daddy Trump isn’t having it. He sent his spanner boy, JD Vance, high on dope and dripping with sass, to the Munich Conference 2025 to drop the hammer.

JD Vance, with a stick seven times bigger than the carrot, slammed the table: “500 billion for Ukraine? Sign it or leave it! No more free rides, no more grandma across the Atlantic. Chuuuu!” The EU, used to their cushy lifestyle, was shaken. Their fancy treaties and eurozone currency suddenly felt as worthless as a participation trophy. The second Berlin Conference (Riyyad) is for “big boys only, and the EU was left outside, sulking like a teenager who just got their allowance cut.

Putin and Daddy Trump: The Adult Table. 

Meanwhile, Daddy Trump and Putin Ahead party boys, Maco Rubio  and The current top diplomat of Russia Sergey Lavrov are currently sitting down like two grown-ups at a BBQ, No Wine or smoking cigars and hashing out their differences in Riyadh.

Earlier responding to the press. “I asked Putin if he wanted to keep fighting,” Daddy Trump said, “and he said no. I prefer his view because if he wanted to fight, that would be a big problem for me.”.  Cue the adult treaty: no more fighting, just a good old-fashioned handshake and a promise to stay out of each other’s sandboxes. Meanwhile, the EU and NATO were still throwing tantrums in the corner, trying to figure out how to negotiate without starting a war.

NATO and Eurozone: Immigrant Hangover and Bruised Egos.

The NATO and Eurozone capitals reported in shambles. Cities overrun by immigrant hangovers, economies struggling, and egos bruised. These are the same folks whose ancestors built empires through colonialism, invasion, and domination. But now? Kicked out of the Sahel, out-innovated by China and India, and left contemplating their firewood era (looking at you, Germany). The one-eyed chancellor’s boy was weeping at the Munich Conference, realizing the end game was near.

Gordon Brown’s Hangover: Missed the Fight.

Gordon Brown, the grandpa of British politics, is raging like a retiree who missed the bingo game. “F*** Russia! F*** Putin!”  screaming, jealous that he wasn’t in office to join the fight. But Daddy Trump isn’t interested in old men’s tantrums. He has bigger fish to fry, like moving the table to Riyadh for the real big boys’ meeting.

Zelensky: The spoiled Hopeful Teenager.

Zelensky, hands in his pockets, standing in the rain outside near Riyadh in Qatar, hoping someone would let him into  the meeting. “Maybe they’ll include me if I stand close enough,” he Dreams shivering in the evening wind. But no, this was a meeting for the adults only. Sorry, Zelensky, maybe next time.

Macron: “We’ll Make Our Own NATO!”.

Macron, ever the drama queen, called his own conference. “We’ll make our own NATO army!” he declared, puffing out his chest. The details of the outcome? Still unknown. But let’s be real, it probably will end with more croissants and less action.

Elon Musk’s DOGE Discovery: Methuselah’s Pension Register. 

And just when you thought this couldn’t get any wilder, Elon Musk’s DOGE discovered remnants of Methuselah’s descendants living beyond 150 years. The pension register might even uncover Enoch’s hidden places. Wait, did Jesus even go to heaven?” @elonMusk. “Or is he just on the pension register too?” Hahaha, the wonders never end.

Daddy Trump’s Final Word.

Daddy Trump looks at the mess, shakes his head, and says, “Listen up, kids. The old ways of expansion, force, and domination are over. It’s time to grow up, pay your bills, and learn how to talk instead of fight. If you can’t handle that, well, too bad. Daddy’s in charge now.”*

And with that, the world hold its breath, wondering what hilarious, chaotic, and utterly unpredictable move Daddy Trump would make next..